Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Once upon a time I was single, thin, a runner, in shape and twenty-three years old. That was 10 years ago. A husband, a child, 3 businesses, 4 moves, 3 cars, a Bachelor's degree and 70 pounds ago.
In that time I have found myself then lost myself. Lost weight then gained it back. Felt real pain and felt real joy.
There is only one thing of the past ten years that I would like to trade, or better yet, LEAVE in the past...
those 70 pounds.
A measly 7 pounds gained per year.
Just over 1/2 a pound gained per month.
How could something so small mean so much and have such a huge impact?
I have (slowly but surely) allowed those 70 pounds to control my life.
When I am being real and honest with myself, I can see that the loss of control was (is) voluntary. I am the one who made bad food choices. I am the one who sat on the couch (or at my computer) more than pounding the pavement. I am the one who chose to "eat, drink, and be merry" rather than exercise some restraint.
Today I am suffering the consequences of my choices. And friends, it's a tough pill to swallow. This week I hit my all time high - in weight that is. It took everything in me not to crumple right there, on my scale, and give up. I don't even know what I want to give-up, since I'm only half-way trying.
In my family, there are overweight women. These are people I care about. People I love. Somehow I have to reprogram myself. I don't want some internal part of myself feeling like in order to fit in and be loved I have to be overweight too. I know it sounds twisted, but it happens. So, I ask again. The same question I have asked here. Where do you find your inspiration. THEN, after you are inspired, what do you DO. What is your very next action step?
Some people will read this and have no idea what I am feeling or talking about. I hope you will never take your healthy body for granted. Some people will read this and KNOW what I am talking about because they are living it too. I hope you will join me in figuring it out and getting real.
2010 is my year!!