Thursday, September 16, 2010

Get on Board and Believe

"What a week!"

That's what I said on Monday night as I prepared to lay my stress-filled head on my pillow. Before finally putting myself to bed, my hubby and I prayed together. We needed Divine help in a way we never had before. Along with guidance and peace we asked for a way to have 2 twin beds in time. We didn't know exactly when Zoe would arrive, but we knew our time was short. How would we make it all work? Man, was I stressed out!

At 9:00am the next morning, Zoe's caseworker called. I had just started my breakfast and Mattie was in her room getting dressed. "Amy, can we bring Zoe today? Probably later this afternoon. I will call you with an exact time after I meet with Ann." (Zoe's maternal grandmother) I was stunned. I could hardly speak. What about the beds? Am I making a mistake? Will Mattie be ok? Is it too late to back out? These are the thoughts that raced through my mind before I was able to squeak out a "Sure. If that's what you need. She can come today." After I hung-up the phone I stood in silence. What should I do first? My body wouldn't move. The reality of what we had chosen was washing over me in great waves and I felt like I would drown. What should I do first? In that instant I couldn't eat one more bite. I had to act. There was so much to do! What should I do first?

Well, the first thing I did was call Matt. He was the calm, logical one and he would know what to do. With reassurance in his voice he said everything would be ok. Just start with getting the room ready for another little girl. Then he hung-up. Before I could even walk down the stairs, Matt called back. His parents had 2 twin beds for us, bedding and all. They were preparing, AT THAT MOMENT, to drive everything to us from Richfield. After that phone call I started to cry.

I was living one of the stories you hear in Sunday School. You know the one. A family has an immediate, even desperate need. After a faith filled and heartfelt prayer, an answer comes. Miraculously. Without explanation except to say it was a gift from God. It was then that I was able to really see all the small miracles we had received over the past few weeks. Miracles that were hard to see at first. Immediately, I went to my bedroom, walked into the closet, closed the door, got down on my knees and poured my heart out. And cried some more. This wasn't the first (or last) time I would do this. My closet is the best place for such a moment. If I keep the light off, nobody knows I'm there (including children).

Eventually my caseworker called back and said they would bring Zoe first thing the next morning. Phew! Just enough time to get the bedroom ready, clean the house and FRY my nerves. Actually, as was the set standard, everything went smoothly. It was clear that God had his hand in every part of this process. He has a plan and we just need to get on board and believe.