Several weeks ago Matt asked how I felt about him playing football again. I tried to keep my face with a neutral expression. Honestly? I wasn't very excited about the prospect of him being gone another 2 nights a week for practice and Saturday nights/afternoons for games. I was selfishly asking myself, "Why does he get to do something he really loves and I am yet again stuck at home?!". Instead of thinking about what Matt wanted or even needed, I thought only of ME, ME, ME.
Right in the middle of my pity party I saw it. That look in his eye. If I really didn't want him to play, he wouldn't. He needed me to support him. He needed ME.
It's not a fun thing to see yourself being selfish and ugly. I know ME. I know all of my thoughts, feelings and responses. I know how good I am at wallowing. I also know how good I am at loving my family and supporting them. Why was I having such a hard time? What was my problem? ME! I was my problem. I needed to get over myself.
Well, I finally got over myself and gave him my full support. Who am I to dash someone's dream?! Nobody, that's who.
Saturday was the first of 2 preseason games. The Blitz WON 49 to 7. Matt played all but 2 series. As a matter of fact, he played a huge roll in blocking for at least 2 touchdowns. I am so proud of him!! I am also proud of him taking a chance at playing football again. There will come a day when he can't play any more and I don't want there to be any regrets (nor do I want to be responsible for any regrets).
Lesson learned? I am my own biggest stumbling block!
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