Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I'm Overflowing

Thank you to everyone who helped make my husbands surprise birthday party a HUGE success! It was actually a surprise! I was so worried that Matt had found out and was just humoring me by not mentioning he already knew. Also, the book of your memories of Matt will be treasured always. He has loved reading each one. I believe every married couple should have to put a book like this together for their spouse. My love and appreciation for my husband has grown as I have seen him through the eyes of so many others. He is loved and cherished by more than just me and Mattie.

On a more subdued note, today is the day. I have loads of laundry to do so that Mattie and I can drive to SLC tomorrow morning. I have the overwhelming task of helping sort through and clean my grandfather's house. He died last Thursday, for those who haven't been here to my blog for awhile. I am honored to be apart of this project. I feel like it will be therapeutic to go through my grandparents personal items. It will give me a chance to say a final good-bye. To them as my grandparents, to the house I have spent 30 years going to, to the place that holds so many memories ranging from my earliest memories to just this last December.

In the April LDS General Conference Thomas S. Monson spoke about losing loved ones, he said:

Recently I was looking through some family photo albums. Cherished memories flooded my mind as I came across image after image of loved ones gathered at family outings, birthdays, reunions, anniversaries. Since these photographs were taken, some of those beloved family members have departed this life. I thought of the words of the Lord, "Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die."1 I miss each one who has left our family circle.

Though difficult and painful, death is an essential part of our mortal experience. We began our sojourn here by leaving our premortal existence and coming to this earth. The poet Wordsworth captured that journey in his inspired ode to immortality. He wrote:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!2

I couldn't have put it better. I know I will see him again, but I still sorrow his passing. I am overflowing with emotions. Between Matt's wonderful birthday, finding out about my grandpa's death the night before the party and working through all the memories that have flooded my mind, I feel like I have felt and experienced the full gamut of emotions-both good and hard. I hope to go up and embrace all that I feel and remember and then peacefully let go.