Friday, July 30, 2010

Full to Overflowing

That is my heart. Full to overflowing.

I walked down the hall, heading to the bathroom, when I had the most overwhelming urge to scoop up my daughter and cradle her in my arms. After a quick visit to the bathroom, I walked into my daughter's dark, sleepy bedroom and felt my way to where she was sleeping deeply. I love to here her even breathing while she dreams.

First, I fixed her blankets. Then I kissed her head and stood up to leave.

It wasn't enough.

I bent back down and kissed her little head a few more times. Then her cheeks. Then that little soft spot just below her chin. I have loved to kiss that spot since the moment she was put in my arms.

Still not enough.

I gently held her hand. The involuntary clenching of her hand in mine made me smile. I remember when she would wrap her long, newborn fingers around my fingers. Then I counted each long finger, caressed them in my hand and kissed each one.

It had to be enough. I didn't want to wake her.

As I walked down the hall to my room, I tearfully thought of another sweet little daughter (not mine), whom I love. May the spirit of her sweet mother comfort and keep her as the days of decision and change lay ahead. May all that is good and right be hers.

It's still not enough, but my overflowing heart will have to wait until tomorrow.