Renewal 2010: More About Getting Real

 (April 2010)

 I want to say thank you.

Thank you for the thoughtful, personal, soul searching, and supportive comments you shared with me on Renewal 2010: Time To Get Real. It's always refreshing to know you aren't alone. I particularly appreciated the comments and emails and facebook messages from those who have known me the longest or who know me the best. Many of the things said were probably hard to say and I am grateful for your candor and concern.

As I continue this process of getting real and climb out of this river of denial, I find myself feeling naked and exposed. Kinda like when you climb out of the pool or walk out of the ocean. Your swimsuit is clinging to every curve and for a moment you feel... naked... exposed. It's very uncomfortable and revealing.

Last week I stumbled on the blog of a woman who is beautiful, inspiring and motivating. In her life, she had to battle a poor body image, and overcome being overweight. Now, she has become a triathlete and marathon runner. This March, she ran a race that was 100 miles in Moab. Her posts are thought provoking and raw. People like her inspire me. When she shared the story of her struggle with weight loss, I found myself cheering for her, although she lost the weight (and kept it off) a couple of years ago. In cheering for her, I was cheering for myself and all other women who desire to feel good in their own skin. 

There are many things I love about me, but I find myself thinking and saying negative things about my body. This woman's blog helped me see clearly that you can't separate the many parts that make-up you. They are all fundamental, even required, for the whole package to work. I really can't like my eyes, my hands, my laugh and my love for youth without liking or loving everything in between. It's all part of me.

"When you love and embrace it, you can part with it. That was a little secret I learned when I struggled for years with weight loss. If you beat yourself up about being overweight, it just never leaves. It wasn’t until I accepted how big I was and where I was at and started to work on things in a positive way that the pounds melted off. It was actually pretty easy once I got my attitude in the right ballpark. No more negative reinforcement, love it, embrace it, and then you can let go of it. Everyone's path to this place is different."  -Sonja Wieck

Love it. Embrace it. Let go of it.

Powerful!! I am making this my mantra for weight loss and a better body image. The challenge now is working on the "love it." Honestly? I don't love it. I don't love being out of shape, out of breath and with such a lack of flexibility. BUT, here's where my A-HA moment has come. Although I don't love the effects of being overweight, I still can and MUST love me. The person. The person carrying the body. The person inside the body. It's all one. A package deal.

So, that is what I'm working on first. I am learning how to LOVE IT!

I would love to hear about how you have 

overcome this particular challenge. 

How did you get to a place where

you truly love yourself - the whole package.

P.S. Has anyone read this book? 

What did you think?

I think I'm going to order one.
You should too!

Renewal 2010: Time To Get Real

Once upon a time I was single, thin, a runner, in shape and twenty-three years old. That was 10 years ago. A husband, a child, 3 businesses, 4 moves, 3 cars, a Bachelor's degree and 70 pounds ago.

In that time I have found myself then lost myself. Lost weight then gained it back. Felt real pain and felt real joy.

There is only one thing of the past ten years that I would like to trade, or better yet, LEAVE in the past...
those 70 pounds.

A measly 7 pounds gained per year.

Just over 1/2 a pound gained per month.

How could something so small mean so much and have such a huge impact?

I have (slowly but surely) allowed those 70 pounds to control my life.

When I am being real and honest with myself, I can see that the loss of control was (is) voluntary. I am the one who made bad food choices. I am the one who sat on the couch (or at my computer) more than pounding the pavement. I am the one who chose to "eat, drink, and be merry" rather than exercise some restraint.

Today I am suffering the consequences of my choices. And friends, it's a tough pill to swallow. This week I hit my all time high - in weight that is. It took everything in me not to crumple right there, on my scale, and give up. I don't even know what I want to give-up, since I'm only half-way trying.

In my family, there are overweight women. These are people I care about. People I love. Somehow I have to reprogram myself. I don't want some internal part of myself feeling like in order to fit in and be loved I have to be overweight too. I know it sounds twisted, but it happens. So, I ask again. The same question I have asked here. Where do you find your inspiration. THEN, after you are inspired, what do you DO. What is your very next action step?

Some people will read this and have no idea what I am feeling or talking about. I hope you will never take your healthy body for granted. Some people will read this and KNOW what I am talking about because they are living it too. I hope you will join me in figuring it out and getting real.

2010 is my year!!

Annual Battle of the "Bulge"

Aren't you doing it too?

Setting new weight-loss goals.

Promising yourself that THIS is the year you will DO IT.

I swear. TRULY. I mean it this time!

So far so good. I have already lost, gained and then lost again the same 5 pounds. I am elated, disappointed and then elated again. The good news? I have broken even!

For Christmas I got an excellent exercise video. I have even mentioned it here before! It's quite a work-out for me. And I have to confess, I am unable to do ALL of the push-ups and ALL of the crunches. I hope for that to change soon.

If you remember, I have talked about my daughter not being an early bird. Well, she still isn't. And therefore, neither am I. It's something I'm working on. Still. My point in bringing this up is to stay that this is one goal I am improving on! Yeah me!

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, 

drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.” 

Mark Twain

Do you feel that way sometimes?

I do.

Looking for a winner!

I have tried many exercise videos. Haven't you? Some seem to be great but end up falling flat. Some are BORING. Some are fun for a couple weeks and then you want to poke your eyes out before doing the routine again.

Well, I have stumbled on one that looks like a winner! The reviews for it are positive. I hope to add MY positive review to the bunch!

Have you tried this program? What did you think?!